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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29742018">you wear the moon just like a spotlight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisonattheorpheum/pseuds/allisonattheorpheum'>allisonattheorpheum</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, F/M, Falling In Love, Karaoke, Not Beta Read, Playlist, Spending a Weekend Together, Texting, and now i am in retirement, i forgot teen is also for smoking, julie is 22 and luke is like 23 or 24 whatever floats your boat, luke smokes a few times, rated teen for some swearing and drinking and implications of more than kissing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:28:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29742018</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisonattheorpheum/pseuds/allisonattheorpheum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“the moon,” he says, tilting his head up towards it. “it’s like it’s been following you all night or something, like your own personal spotlight. no matter which way i look at you or where you stand, it’s behind you, i swear.”</p><p>julie wonders if it’s possible to fall in love with someone based on less than fifty words. she should be hesitant, should assume that she’s just the lucky girl he decided to talk to that night, but something about him feels different, like she could lay her heart on the edge of the roof and he’d look after it like his most prized possession to make sure it didn’t fall.</p><p>(or julie meets luke, and then finds herself.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Julie Molina/Luke Patterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you wear the moon just like a spotlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title from "disco darling" by carly rae jepsen.<br/>i do not own the iconic "i think we're alone now" by tiffany.</p><p>i made a playlist full of songs that fit the mood and general idea behind this story. you can listen to it on <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2sy31whQMhhP4AIIHdYo1E?si=DmrpRH8WSNqzXhytl8XlKw">spotify</a> or <a href="https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/you-wear-the-moon-just-like-a-spotlight/pl.u-zPyLmZYFeDVLrvy">apple music</a>. the song that the title is from is not available on streaming services and you can listen to it <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xH7Z90Zg2s&amp;ab_channel=YAYTV">here</a>.</p><div class="center">
  <p> <br/></p>
</div>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“julie, are you even watching?” flynn asks. her voice is loud, a shout over the noise of the band and the crowd.</p><p>“i can hear them,” julie says, waving her hand next to her ear. her elbows are on the bar, and they stick every time she tries to move them. her hands are knotted in her hair so she drops her head and finds the straw in her drink with her tongue.</p><p>“why don’t you turn around and look at the stage like a normal person? it’s the last song.”</p><p>julie sighs and takes another drink, the alcohol rushing to her head. her cheeks are warm and her eyelids heavy.</p><p>“i’m a little too preoccupied with the bomb that you decided to drop on me on the way over here, flynn.”</p><p>flynn leans back against the bar, reaches over and grabs the lime wedge off of the rim of julie’s glass. she pops it into her mouth and sucks out the juice. </p><p>“suit yourself,” she says. “i’m gonna go find carrie. you okay on your own?”</p><p>julie nods and spins her bar stool towards flynn. even after she stops the rotation, her head still spins, but she isn’t sure if it’s from her drink or the news flynn told her earlier. “i’ll be just fine.”</p><p>once flynn walks away, julie flags down the bartender and asks for a water. she nurses it as the band on stage finishes up their song, her mind getting clearer with every sip and every drum beat. when the music ends and the sound system kicks back on, she spins to face the stage, now empty and ordinary with no spotlights casting it in a magical glow. julie remembers the last time she was on one, the way her hands shook and the way she ran off of it without playing a note. she shakes her head to clear the memory.</p><p>she lets her eyes scan the crowd, smaller now but still big enough to provide her with entertaining people-watching. she sees flynn and carrie, slow dancing with their foreheads pressed together, even though the song being blasted from the speakers is up-beat. she laughs and pulls her phone out of the pocket of her dress, but before she can take a picture of the two of them, she notices a guy weaving through the crowd, with his eyes locked on her. he stops and shakes hands with someone, claps another guy on the back.</p><p>julie tilts her head as the distance between them closes. he finally notices her noticing him and smirks, runs his hand through his shaggy, brown hair. it looks wet, sweaty, like he’s been working out or stuck in the rain. he’s almost at the bar when julie lets herself look at the rest of him: old rush tee with the sleeves cut off, a blue rabbit’s foot hanging from a wallet chain, defined muscles that she’d like to trace her fingers over, that she’d like to push his shirt aside and see more of. </p><p>“hey,” he says. he stops in front of her and waits, like he’s expecting some kind of reaction to the simple greeting. “did you like the show?”</p><p>“i only heard bits and pieces,” she says. she chews on the end of the straw in her water and watches the way his eyes follow the movement. “i was distracted. from what i caught, they were kinda good.”</p><p><em> "kinda </em> good?” the guy’s eyebrows shoot up in disbelief. “i think we were killin’ it but, okay, the beautiful girl says ‘kinda good’ so that’s what we’ll go with.”</p><p>the water julie just swallowed caught in her throat and she coughs, wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. she isn’t sure if the reaction is from being called beautiful by a perfect stranger or from the surprise that this guy was just the one on stage.</p><p>“you’re in the band?” she asks.</p><p>he grins and bounces on his toes, holds his hand out for her to shake. “luke,” he says. “and the band’s called sunset curve.”</p><p>julie takes his hand and his calloused fingers are hot on her palm. “sunset luke, it’s nice to meet you.”</p><p>luke’s like a puppy in front of her, with a smile so bright that there aren’t enough watts to describe it. </p><p>“and what does that make you?” he asks. he hasn’t taken his hand back and julie thinks that there’s a familiarity in his touch, even though she’s never met him before.</p><p>“julie,” she says. “and there’s no band, just me.”</p><p>“just julie? i can work with that. get you a beer?” </p><p>luke lets go of her hand and slides onto the stool next to her. he holds two fingers up to the bartender and, almost instantly, a couple of bottles rest on napkins in front of them. julie gets the feeling that this is a common haunt for luke and his band.</p><p>she picks up the bottle, already dripping with condensation, and takes a swig. it’s cheap stuff, not at all what she’d go for if she were picking a beer for herself, but it’s cold and free so she swirls the bottle around and takes another drink.</p><p>luke has an elbow on the bar and rests his cheek in the palm of his hand. he looks at julie as he takes a drink and she feels his gaze on her like a laser.</p><p>“um, thanks,” she says. “for the beer… and for calling me beautiful earlier.”</p><p>she turns her head and looks at luke straight on. his eyes are hazel, almost gold in some spots, and she watches the way his adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, still glistening with a few spots of sweat.</p><p>“it’s the truth,” he says. “why else would i ignore so many adoring fans to make my way over to you?”</p><p>julie rolls her eyes. “and who says i’m not one of your fans?”</p><p>luke laughs and drains the rest of his beer. he puts the bottle back on the bar and julie’s eyes focus on how his fingers brush against the soggy label, how he rubs away a drop of water on the wooden surface. as a piano player, julie has always had a fascination for hands and fingers, and luke’s are ones she can see next to hers on the keys—if she still played—his fingertips strengthened for a guitar but, she thinks, delicate and nimble when it counts.</p><p>“i think we’ve proven that you’ve never heard of my band,” he says. “and it’s a shame that your first experience with sunset curve was all, i don’t know, not great. why so distracted anyway?”</p><p>julie ducks her head and tucks a few curls behind her ear. she’d welcomed this conversation with someone who knows nothing about her, who doesn’t see her as the girl who went quiet and tucked her music into the deepest part of her. she tries out a few different answers in her mind: the truth, a lie, a deflection.</p><p>“it’s a long story,” she settles on.</p><p>luke <em> hmm</em>s and stands up. he shakes his head like a wet dog and julie thinks it’s some kind of magic how his hair falls back into place like blades of grass settling after a ladybug walks over them. he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, shakes the box at julie and shrugs.</p><p>“bad habit,” he says. “keep me company?”</p><p>she looks out to the crowd and searches for flynn and carrie again. they’re talking to a few other people and have their arms wrapped tightly around each other’s waists. julie knows they won’t be ready to leave anytime soon, so she stands and fires off a quick text to flynn just in case they try to find her.</p><p>luke leads the way to the door; there’s a group clustered near the exit and he pushes through them so quickly that julie reaches out and grabs the back of his shirt so that she doesn’t lose him. with the fabric pulled off of his skin, julie can see his shoulder blades shift, can see the lines of a tattoo on his ribs.</p><p>when they make it outside, the air is cool, but julie can still smell the late summer heat in the air. luke pulls a lighter out of his jeans, the front pocket this time, and runs his thumb over the wheel, letting it burn for a second before letting go of the button. he tucks it against his palm and pulls a cigarette out of the box before tilting it toward julie.</p><p>she shakes her head and watches him bring the cigarette to his lips and hold it between them. he cups his hand around the lighter and flicks it on, drops his chin so the cigarette meets the flame. he inhales while he tucks the lighter and pack of smokes away, the orange burn at the end flaring, then turns his head away from her to blow out a stream of smoke.</p><p>julie doesn’t look away as he holds the cigarette between his fingers and pulls it out of his mouth. she doesn’t look away when she gets the sudden urge to take the remaining steps between them and taste the tobacco on his lips.</p><p>“not distracted now, are you?” he asks. his voice is low and gravelly, different than before he started the cigarette and entirely enticing. </p><p>“you think i’m beautiful?”</p><p>she never knew one cheap beer could make her so bold.</p><p>“yeah,” luke says. “i do.”</p><p>“i think you’re handsome, then.”</p><p>luke laughs and takes another drag. he looks at julie like she’s one of the world’s wonders, all wide-eyed and like he’ll never get enough of the view. she thinks that maybe this is what she needs: a night with a cute boy who doesn’t know how lost she is. she steps up to him, leans in so her mouth is by his ear.</p><p>“i hope this is okay,” she whispers, before turning her head and pressing a kiss to his cheek. she hears his sharp inhale and he leans into her, his temple resting against hers. she turns around so they’re facing the same way and he loops his arm across her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. she thinks it’s impossible how their bodies fit like they’ve been in this position before.</p><p>they stay that way for a few more minutes, quiet and comfortable, luke smoking and flicking the ash onto the sidewalk every once in a while. she’s mesmerized by the motions, by the way his cheeks hollow out as he inhales. julie hears someone calling luke’s name behind them and she turns her head and looks, sees a group of teenaged girls walking up to them. a couple of them are giggling and shy, while another is marching up to them like she belongs nowhere else.</p><p>“um, i think your fanclub just showed up,” julie says quietly.</p><p>luke groans and takes a final puff. </p><p>“we should probably run now.” he drops the cigarette and extinguishes it with the toe of his worn-in vans slip-on. </p><p>before she can answer, he unwraps his arm from around her neck, grabs her hand and starts to pull her down the sidewalk. he’s fast, and she has to stumble over her feet a couple of times before she matches his pace. his hand fits around hers like it has been there before; his grip is strong and gentle at the same time and she can feel the callouses on the pads of his fingers rubbing against the top of her hand. he looks back at her and smiles and her heart rattles around in her chest like it’s ready to wake up from a too-long nap.</p><p>“where are we going?” she asks. she’s not out of shape, not really, but it’s been a while since high school gym class, a while since she has done any real running and she feels it in her thighs, feels a few beads of sweat on the back of her neck. </p><p>“just trust me,” he says. </p><p>they turn into an alley, weave around a few dumpsters, and when they emerge from the other end onto a new street, luke finally slows down. they walk for a little while longer, turn left here, make a right there, and julie isn’t sure she could find her way back to the bar if she tried. </p><p>eventually, luke stops walking and says, “home sweet home.”</p><p>julie blinks and looks at the building they’re standing in front of for a few seconds. “you live in a noodle shop?”</p><p>"<em>above </em> the noodle shop, just julie.” he shifts his hand so that their fingers are laced together, the kind of gesture that’s more <em> i want to feel close to you </em> and less <em> we need to get out of here</em>. “when we’re on this coast, anyway.”</p><p>julie scoffs and looks at luke. he’s illuminated, a street light casting a halo over his head. “i’m choosing to ignore the ‘i’m in a band famous enough to have a residence on both coasts’ implication of that statement,” she says.</p><p>luke laughs and it’s a melody she thinks she could get used to, raspy and honest. he runs his thumb over the knuckle of her index finger and brings their hands to his mouth, kisses the same spot.</p><p>“do you want me to get you a cab?” he asks. “or… ” he trails off, looks up towards the dark apartment above the shop.</p><p>“you made me run all the way over here just to send me home?” she hears something different in her voice, something bold and unrestrained. luke makes her comfortable, at ease, and she knows that’s ridiculous to say about someone she’s known for less than an hour but she welcomes the feeling, holds it against the spot where her problems are packed away like a cold compress numbing an ache. </p><p>“come on, then” luke says. he opens a door to a staircase and holds it with his foot. “i’ve got an idea.”</p><p>the apartment is small and clearly a landing spot for a group of guys who don’t spend much time there. open suitcases and backpacks litter every available surface and t-shirts and jeans are flung over chairs with a thin layer of dust on them.</p><p>“it’s, um, charming,” julie says.</p><p>luke barks out a laugh. he’s in the tiny kitchen area, putting a sleeve of crackers and some granola bars in a big bowl.</p><p>“that’s one word for it.” he holds up a couple of bottles of wine. “red or white?”</p><p>“red,” she decides. “you don’t seem like the wine type.”</p><p>he shrugs. “our management sent them over when we got back into town and since no one else is here, we better put them to use.”</p><p>julie hums in agreement and turns to look at a framed photo hanging crookedly on the wall. it’s of luke and three other guys and she assumes they are the rest of sunset curve. their arms are all slung around each other and one of the guys is holding up a piece of paper covered in fine print with some signatures at the bottom. she reaches out and straightens the frame.</p><p>“how long are you here for?” she asks casually.</p><p>“just the weekend,” luke answers. “show tonight, meetings tomorrow, back to california the next day.”</p><p>julie walks back towards the kitchen and tries to push down the feeling of disappointment that snuck in from nowhere. <em> don’t get ahead of yourself</em>, she thinks. </p><p>“living the dream,” she says, watching as he rinses a wine glass out in the sink and dries it with some paper towel.</p><p>he looks up at her and winks as he puts the glass in the bowl with the snacks.</p><p>“trying to, anyway. can you grab a blanket and some pillows out of my room?” he asks. he gestures towards a closed door at the start of the hallway.</p><p>she does, looks around the room and sees about what she’d expected: a couple acoustic guitars, clothes, a stack of journals with the spines cracked and battered next to the bed. she pulls the blanket off of the top and tucks the pillows under her arm and heads back to the kitchen. </p><p>“what exactly are we doing?” she asks. </p><p>he picks up the bowl he’d been stashing things in and looks at her, winks and heads toward the front door. </p><p>“you’ll see,” he says. </p><p>after going up more than a few flights of stairs, luke opens a door and summer night air rushes against julie’s skin; it’s not cold, not by any means, but she hadn’t realized how warm she had gotten in the apartment. she isn’t sure if it was because of the lack of circulated air or if merely being near luke set her ablaze. </p><p>“you brought me <em> up </em> all this way just to go outside?” julie asks. for the second time that night, she’s trying to catch her breath. “you know we could’ve just went down one floor for this? it would’ve been a lot easier.”</p><p>luke laughs and holds the door open with his back as she walks through it.</p><p>“easier, sure, but not nearly as fun. why be on the ground when you can have a picnic under the stars?”</p><p>he leads julie to an open spot in the middle of the roof, sets the bowl down and takes the blanket from her. she watches as he expertly lays it out, puts the bottle of wine on one corner and the bowl on another.</p><p>“you know you can’t see any stars, right?”</p><p>“that doesn’t mean they aren’t there, julie,” he says.</p><p>he takes a pillow from under her arm and sits down on top of it, crosses his legs. he pats the blanket in front of him and she puts the other pillow down, sits so she is facing him, crosses her legs to mirror him.</p><p>“how many other girls have you found at your shows and brought up here?”</p><p>“oh, let me think,” he says. “that’d be, well, just julie.” he grins at himself, like he’s some kind of comedic genius instead of a singer, and julie rolls her eyes. </p><p>“you’re having fun with that, aren’t you?”</p><p>he takes a wine glass out of the bowl and points it at julie. “i’m having fun with you,” he says.</p><p>julie tries to hide her smile, the way it blooms across her face like a dahlia opening up in the middle of the summer. she knows he could just be saying that, could just be telling her what she wants to hear in order to keep the night going toward whatever endgame he has in mind, but julie can’t help but feel like it’s nothing like that at all.</p><p>she lifts herself up off of the pillow a little bit, reaches past luke to get the bottle of wine and brushes against his arm as she sits back down. it’s one of the bottles with a twist-off lid and she opens it, pours some in the glass that luke’s holding. he grabs the other out of the bowl and she fills it, too, before putting the lid back on the wine and setting it aside. </p><p>“let me put on some tunes,” luke says.</p><p>he pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts scrolling. julie takes the opportunity to get hers out, as well, and sees a few texts from flynn that she missed the notification for. she lets her know she’s okay, drops a pin of her location, and puts her phone facedown on the blanket next to her. </p><p>
  
</p><p>music starts playing from luke’s phone. it’s tinny, quiet, but it fills the air around them like it’s part of the night sky. she takes a drink of her wine, swirls it around in the glass like she’s seen people do on tv. luke does the same and she watches the way his fingers wrap around the stem of the glass so carefully, wishes he’d touch her the same way, like she’s priceless.</p><p>“are you from new york?” she asks. </p><p>luke swallows and shakes his head. </p><p>“no, but i love it here. i grew up in la, all of us did, but when we played our first tour out here, it just felt like home.”</p><p>“i’m from california, too,” she says. she keeps her voice quiet, like there’s a bubble wrapped around them that will shatter if she speaks at a normal volume.</p><p>“oh, yeah? are you just visiting or what?”</p><p>“no, i go to school here. or, well, i did… i don’t know. it’s complicated.”</p><p>luke reaches over and runs his fingers up her arm and she looks down at her skin, at the goosebumps that appear instantly. </p><p>“complicated like how your distraction is a long story? i’m a good listener, i promise.”</p><p>she watches as he takes another drink before putting the glass down and taking both of her hands in his, lacing their fingers together. the truth comes out of her before she can stop it, her voice taking on a life of its own, like it’s tired of being hidden. she doesn’t think she blames it. </p><p>“i was supposed to graduate in may,” she starts. “flynn—that’s my best friend—she graduated, and her girlfriend did, too, and i sat on the bleachers and watched. my mom died a little over a year ago so i took the last two semesters off and i told everyone i’d go back this term but i can’t.”</p><p>“i’m so sorry about your mom,” luke says. julie looks up at him and his face is genuine, soft, and she knows he means it. “why can’t you go back?”</p><p>“i was studying vocal performance and songwriting—”</p><p>“you’re a musician?” luke asks, interrupting her. she doesn’t miss the way his eyes light up at the idea.</p><p>“not anymore. my mom… she was in bands when she was younger and we used to write together and do little performances for my dad and brother. when she died, it was like”—she shrugs and blinks away the tears that are gathering in the corners of her eyes—”that part of me went away, too.”</p><p>“hey,” luke says. he leans forward and touches their foreheads together and julie shivers at the contact. “we all have our things. you don’t have to figure anything out tonight.”</p><p>“maybe not tonight, but flynn signed me up for an open mic in, like, a week and a half and she told me on the way to the bar tonight.”</p><p>“your distraction.”</p><p>julie sighs. “yeah, my distraction. she wants me to sing again <em> so </em>bad and she means well but i’ve tried for her, and i’ve tried for my dad, and i’ve tried for school and i don’t know who or what else i’m supposed to try for.”</p><p>“yourself?”</p><p>julie leans back and looks up at the sky. the moon is big, bright, and she thinks if she looks hard enough she can see the old man on it, waving at her, inviting her to join him. she sniffs and smiles, looks back at luke. </p><p>“i already have a therapist for this,” she says. “besides, aren’t we supposed to be on a picnic?”</p><p>the song changes to something slow and drawn-out and luke grins and squeezes her hands. “how ‘bout dancing?” he asks. “is that still something you do?”</p><p>he stands up and pulls julie up with him. he lets go of one of her hands and spins her around, her hair lifting off of her neck and shoulders. she laughs and wraps her arm around his waist, feels the ripple of muscle under his shirt. luke pulls her closer and starts to sway to the song.</p><p>“who is this?” she asks.</p><p>“oh, just an about-to-be-legendary band called sunset curve.” his voice is almost swallowed up by her hair and julie can feel the echo of his exhale against the shell of her ear. </p><p>“you have your own music on your picnic playlist?”</p><p>“hey, i’ve heard from a reliable source that we’re ‘kinda good,’” he says. </p><p>she pulls her head back a little so she can look up and meet his eyes. the touch of gold in them takes her by surprise every time and she thinks maybe it’s a sign, a hint that she can trust him, that he sees every part of her and still wants to look for more. she thinks she should be scared that she feels this way about someone she’s just met, but it’s been a long time since she’s just let herself feel at all.</p><p>“i’m glad you found me tonight,” she says. </p><p>“i’m not the only one who found you.”</p><p>she tilts her head and raises an eyebrow. she looks around the roof as if searching for someone else. “what do you mean?”</p><p>luke looks over her head and smiles and julie’s breath catches in her throat. he’s handsome, yes, but when he smiles, it’s a whole new game; his eyes almost close and he kind of lets the tip of his tongue peek out between his top and bottom teeth and julie thinks his smile could be one she’ll never get tired of.</p><p>“the moon,” he says, tilting his head up towards it. “it’s like it’s been following you all night or something, like your own personal spotlight. no matter which way i look at you or where you stand, it’s behind you, i swear.”</p><p>julie wonders if it’s possible to fall in love with someone based on less than fifty words. she should be hesitant, should assume that she’s just the lucky girl he decided to talk to that night, but something about him feels different, like she could lay her heart on the edge of the roof and he’d look after it like his most prized possession to make sure it didn’t fall.</p><p>“when i was younger”—she moves her arms from his waist to his shoulders, intertwines her fingers behind his neck—“my mom would tell my brother and me about the man who lives in the moon. when i’d get mad about something, i’d always threaten to run away and go find him. i was just a kid then so it made sense to say, right? but lately i’ve just been feeling so lost, running away doesn’t seem like a bad idea sometimes.”</p><p>luke juts his bottom lip out, opens his eyes as wide as they’ll go, and bats his eyelashes at her.</p><p>“you can’t go running now, just julie,” he says. “i only just met you.”</p><p>she laughs and moves one of her hands up, tangles her fingers in his hair. “i guess you’ll have to make staying worth my while, then.”</p><p>“you’re the boss,” luke says.</p><p>he brings one of his hands up to her face and runs his thumb along the line of her jaw. he holds her chin between his thumb and index finger and lifts her head up; julie thinks she can feel him shaking ever so slightly and she leaves one hand in his hair but brings the other to his wrist, circling it lightly and holding him steady. </p><p>his lips are rough against hers and she thinks that if anything comes from tonight, she’ll have to introduce him to her favorite lip balm. he tastes like wine, mostly, but there’s still a hint of nicotine lingering, even though it’s been a while since his last cigarette. julie takes her hand off of his wrist and puts it on his chest, grabs the fabric of his shirt in her fist. he deepens the kiss, runs his tongue along her lips and she opens her mouth to him. </p><p>it’s like the city pauses around them, julie thinks, like the sirens and the people and the lights all soften, just for a moment, and bow to these two people who are dancing and kissing and falling, without warning, on a rooftop.</p><p>luke pulls back, eventually, and he opens his eyes and looks at julie and she sees absolute ruin in them, like she’s kissed him and ruined him and he’ll never be the same and she knows the same is true for her. they don’t talk as luke sits back down and brings julie with him, pulls her onto his lap and wraps his arms around her. he kisses her forehead, her cheek, her neck, and she leans into the touch, looks up at the moon and thinks that her trip to it can wait if earth is going to be like this.</p><p>*</p><p>julie wakes up to the sun in her eyes. she’s disoriented at first, doesn’t remember where she is or how she got there, but she blinks a couple of times and gains awareness. luke’s arm is across her stomach, a comfortable weight, and their legs are tangled together. she winces as she turns her head to look at him, her neck stiff from sleeping on her back all night, and startles when she sees him already looking at her. </p><p>“good morning,” he says. his voice is heavy with sleep and julie thinks it’s adorable.</p><p>“how long have you been watching me like a creep?” she asks. her own voice is hoarse and her mouth is dry, desperate for water.</p><p>luke laughs and lifts his arm off of her stomach, holds it up to block the sun from their eyes. </p><p>“like twenty-three seconds,” he says. “but if i stay out here much longer, i’m gonna burn and, trust me, no one wants to see a lobster as a rockstar.”</p><p>he stretches his arms above his head and julie watches the way his muscles ripple under taut skin. he’d fallen asleep without his shirt on and julie takes the opportunity to look closer at the tattoo she saw bits and pieces of the night before. it’s an anatomical heart, with parts of a vintage gramophone coming out if it, and julie thinks there couldn’t be a more perfect tattoo for luke, one that captures his passion for music so well.</p><p>“like what you see?” luke teases, propping himself up on an elbow.</p><p>julie shoves his shoulder playfully and he falls onto his back. he groans in fake pain for a second before standing up, then reaches down to pull her up, too. </p><p>“let’s get outta here, just julie,” he says, heading for the door.</p><p>“what about all of this?” she asks, waving her hand out towards the blanket and pillows and wine bottle that had been knocked over in the night.</p><p>“i’ll come get it later,” luke says. “come on, last one down’s a rotten egg or whatever.”</p><p>he opens the door to the stairwell and waits for julie to go through it. the small space is dark and she’s blind for a few seconds, reaching out for the wall to steady her, before her eyes adjust. they take the stairs like they are olympic sprinters and, by the time they reach luke’s apartment, they are both clutching their chests and gasping for breath. </p><p>“isn’t the way down supposed to be easier?” julie asks, laughing in between ragged inhales.</p><p>luke scoffs and puts his hand on his hip, juts it out and tilts his head, his sleep-tousled hair flopping over to adjust to the movement.</p><p>“what, did you think you had to stop putting in work after you spent a night with me?” </p><p>he unlocks the door to the apartment and steps aside for julie to walk into it. she does, looks back at him and smiles as she heads towards the living room, the simple layout of the space already familiar to her despite only being there for a short time.</p><p>“oh, hey, dude,” a guy’s voice says. </p><p>julie stops in her tracks, turning her head to face forward. three guys sit on the couch, feet kicked up on the coffee table. there’s a blonde one in a pink hoodie, one with really red cheeks, and another in red suspenders with a weird middle-part thing going on with his hair. the three of them smile up at her. luke comes up beside her and throws his arm around her shoulders. </p><p>“uh, yeah, this is alex, reggie, and bobby”—he points at each guy as he says their name—”the rest of sunset curve. guys, this is julie.”</p><p>julie waves awkwardly. she knows that the whole band lives here, but didn’t expect to see them, assumed they would still be sleeping or still out from the night before. </p><p>“hey, i’ll grab you some clothes you can change into,” luke says. “if you wanna freshen up, i’ll leave them outside of the bathroom for you.”</p><p>she nods, looks at the guys again before she walks away and says, “it was nice to meet you.”</p><p>as she heads to the door that luke pointed out as the bathroom, she hears them doing a bad job of trying to talk quietly.</p><p>“bro, she’s a keeper,” one of the guys says.</p><p>“look, reg, he’s <em> blushing</em>! that’s not just a one-time thing face,” says another.</p><p>julie smiles to herself as she closes the bathroom door behind her. it might be too soon to say after just one night together, but she hopes his friends are right. </p><p>
  
</p><p>the water pressure and temperature of the shower left something to be desired, but julie feels rejuvenated when she steps out of it. the towels are fluffy and big, at least, and she wraps one around herself and opens the door a tiny bit, grabs the clothes that luke left there and locks herself in again. </p><p>his basketball shorts are big on her, but they seem clean, and they’re more comfortable than the dress she’s had on for more than twelve hours. the shirt he left for her is big, too, and she’s glad she had a bralette on because the sleeves are cut off and her sides are almost completely exposed, much like how luke’s were last night. she shakes out her hair and looks at herself in the steamed-up mirror; her reflection is cloudy and distorted but she thinks she looks presentable enough.</p><p>she leaves the bathroom and tiptoes down the hall back toward the living room. she hears the strum of a guitar, a frustrated sigh. she peaks her head around the corner and sees luke alone on the couch, scribbling in a journal.</p><p>“where’d everyone go?” she asks. </p><p>luke’s head jerks up and he drops the pen he was using. when he looks at her, though, he smiles and relaxes, his shoulders rolling back and losing their tension.</p><p>“you scared me,” he says, laughing.</p><p>he pats a spot on the couch next to him, an invitation for her to join him, and julie weaves her way around the coffee table and sits down. she can see his journal, see all of the lyrics he has crossed out and written over. </p><p>“they headed out to meet alex’s boyfriend somewhere. i wanted to work on this song while i had some peace and quiet.”</p><p>“i’ll try my hardest not to make a sound, then,” she says. </p><p>luke adjusts his guitar and sighs again, brings his pick to his mouth and chews on it for a second. </p><p>“can i play it for you?” he asks, suddenly sounding nervous, shy. “if that’s cool, i mean, i don’t have to.”</p><p>she puts her hand on his arm and runs her thumb over his skin a few times, smiles at him.</p><p>“i’d love to hear it,” she says.</p><p>he clears his throat and shifts the guitar, makes sure the capo is where it needs to be. he closes his eyes as he plays, and julie watches his fingers curl around the neck of the guitar with such familiarity and ease, like they were made for that sole purpose. when he starts singing, it’s like a ghost’s song. his voice is quiet, haunting and drawn-out, and she can tell that he’s navigating around lyrics he hasn’t fully worked out yet.</p><p>julie thinks she could sit here and listen to him for hours and not get bored of it. she hears the hills and valleys of the song, the parts where he’s more confident and lets his voice get louder, more like the luke that was on stage last night. </p><p>“i’m not sure about that part,” he says suddenly, strumming a few chords out of frustration.</p><p>“can i?” she asks, gesturing toward his journal.</p><p>luke’s eyes light up in a way that makes julie’s stomach flip over itself. he nods a few too many times, starts to look like one of the bobblehead puppies that tía victoria used to bring to carlos when they were younger. </p><p>“yeah, yeah,” he says, picking up the book and handing it to her. “that’d be cool.”</p><p>julie likes the way he sounds nervous, likes that she can make him feel that way, and she knows he probably doesn’t share his writing with too many people before it’s a finalized song, so she takes the journal like the gift that it is. she flattens the page out, runs her finger along the lyrics as she reads them, looks at the chords he has written along the side. </p><p>“this line here,” she says, pointing at a specific group of words. “i think maybe if you did a key change and turned this into the start of the bridge... ”</p><p>she trails off, lets her idea play in her head, imagines luke’s vocals and the way they could dance over the melody dozens of different ways. she doesn’t miss the way her brain wraps around this small portion of the song like it’s holding on for dear life and she can feel a familiar fluttering in her stomach that she used to get whenever she was close to a breakthrough, when she was on the edge of creating something beautiful and good.</p><p>“yeah,” she starts again. “okay, pick it up here”—she points at a line further up the page—”and then change to e major.”</p><p>he starts to play again, more surety behind his voice, and julie closes her eyes this time, too, and waits until he hits the key change. when he does, there’s someone else singing along with him and her voice sounds so unfamiliar, so foreign, that it takes her a beat to realize that it’s her at all. </p><p>luke stops playing and she opens her eyes at the silence. </p><p>“what?” she asks. “you don’t like it?”</p><p>luke shakes his head and julie thinks it looks like there are fireworks going off in his eyes, they’re so bright.</p><p>“no, it’s great,” he says. “i just didn’t expect... your voice is amazing, julie.”</p><p>her cheeks get hot and she knows her hands are shaking where they are resting on the open journal. she just sang for the first time in so long, for the first time since her mom died, and she isn’t really sure how to deal with that. it was one line, less than ten words, but it was <em> something </em> and she feels like she just pulled off the most successful heist of all time, like she just stole the mona lisa.</p><p>“i didn’t expect it, either,” she says. “i guess i just really missed working on a song like this.”</p><p>“i guess i better give you a writing credit then.”</p><p>julie thinks he’s joking but he doesn’t laugh, doesn’t crack a smile, just looks at her and kind of squints like she’s the sun finally peeking out between clouds. </p><p>“why are you looking at me like that?”</p><p>“i didn’t think meeting you would change my life.”</p><p>she laughs, loud and light, and reaches over and brushes some hair off of his forehead. </p><p>“i don’t think you can say that quite yet,” she says. </p><p>luke smirks and shrugs, leans into julie’s palm where it’s resting on his cheek.</p><p>“time will tell, just julie.”</p><p>thirty minutes go by like that, with luke playing and julie giving him suggestions. she doesn’t sing anymore, not since that one line, but she thinks it’s enough that she’s helping at all—she hadn’t realized how much her brain needed the creative workout. </p><p>“i should probably go home,” she says, after another play-through of the song. </p><p>luke puts the guitar down and slides closer to her, dances up her arm with the tips of his fingers. she doesn’t want to leave, not really, doesn’t want to break whatever spell has been cast over them, but she knows she has to eventually, before flynn sounds the alarm despite julie telling her she’s fine. </p><p>“the guys and i have meetings all afternoon,” luke says. he leans in so that his mouth is right by julie’s ear. “but i’d love to see you again.”</p><p>julie smiles and nods, feels the whisper of his lips against the shell of her ear. she shivers.</p><p>“i know what we can do,” he says.</p><p>he pulls back and julie immediately misses the warmth of his breath so close to her skin. he flips to a blank page in his journal and writes something on it, then tears the page out and folds it up.</p><p>“here’s the address”—he hands julie the paper and she holds it carefully between her fingers—”meet me there at nine?”</p><p>“it’s a surprise?” she asks.</p><p>luke laughs and stands up, stretches his arms toward the ceiling. a bit of his stomach flashes as his shirt rides up and julie thinks about waking up next to him, with his shirt off and his skin all on display.</p><p>“i mean, you can google it or whatever, but i like a little mystery.”</p><p>julie stands up, too, and puts the piece of paper in the pocket of luke’s shorts. she grabs her phone and her dress from where it was laid across the back of a chair and heads toward the door. she hears his footsteps behind her.</p><p>“so, i guess i’ll see you later,” she says, not quite sure how to make an exit in a situation like this.</p><p>she turns around and luke is right in front of her, closer than she had expected him to be, and he doesn’t hesitate before leaning down and kissing her. she tastes orange juice and knows he hasn’t had any, but likes the tang, anyway.</p><p>“yeah,” he says, pulling back and reaching around her to open the door. “see ya later.”</p><p>she doesn’t hear the click of the door closing and she knows if she turns around, he’d be there, watching her leave or waiting for her to come back. she decides to let him wait; after all, patience is a virtue.</p><p>*</p><p>as soon as julie walks into their apartment, flynn appears in front of her and says, “tell me everything.”</p><p>julie heads straight for the couch, dropping her dress and shoes from the night before on the floor on her way to it, and sits down, pulling her knees into her chest. flynn sits on the other end and waits for a second, a few seconds, before clearing her throat. </p><p>“are those his clothes?” she asks. </p><p>“yeah,” julie says.</p><p>she looks at flynn and tries to keep a straight face. she can’t, of course, and breaks into a grin. she’s been home for only a few minutes and, already, the night is starting to feel like a dream, like a movie she watched and wished she could have starred in. if she wasn’t in his clothes, if they didn’t smell like cigarettes and the citrusy candle she saw in his room, she’d be inclined to believe it had all happened in her head. </p><p>“he came up to me after you went to find carrie,” she says. “he was like ‘hey, did you like my band?’ and, like, i had hardly paid attention so that was awkward.”</p><p>flynn laughs and playfully slaps julie’s leg.</p><p>“i told you to turn around and watch!” </p><p>“we talked for a bit and he got me a beer and then he wanted to go outside to smoke and asked if i wanted to go with him—”</p><p>“he smokes? uh-uh, julie, that’s naughty!”</p><p>julie groans and throws her head back.</p><p>“i know!” she exclaims. “but if it’s so bad for you, i don’t understand why it has to be so attractive.”</p><p>flynn purses her lips and tilts her head, thinks for a second before nodding.</p><p>“you have a point.”</p><p>“anyways, we were outside and, like, he said i’m beautiful and it was all, i don’t know”—she mimics an explosion with her hands—”there was <em> tension</em>, if you know what i mean.”</p><p>“oh, i do,” flynn says, waggling her eyebrows. “he’s cute and knows how to work a stage. i can see how that would translate to being flirty.”</p><p>“it wasn’t just flirting, though, it was something deeper. i know that sounds ridiculous but it’s like… there was just a connection. and then this group of teenagers started to come up to us and he grabbed my hand and took off running. we ended up at his apartment and he took me to the roof and we drank wine and danced and kissed and fell asleep. end of story.”</p><p>she isn’t sure why she leaves out the part of the story that flynn would like the most. maybe she wants to keep it to herself for a little while, keep it in her and luke’s bubble until she figures out if singing one line even means that anything more will happen. </p><p>flynn rests her hand on her chest and scrunches up her face like she’s trying to cry on cue. </p><p>“that’s my girl,” she says, making her hand into a fist and bringing it up to her mouth. “i am so proud of you.”</p><p>julie rolls her eyes. “you’re ridiculous,” she says. </p><p>“you love me, jules.” flynn leans forward and puts her hands on julie’s shoulders. “when are you gonna see him again?”</p><p>julie pulls the note with the address on it out of the pocket of the shorts. she unfolds it and reads it again, trying to uncover the destination in her head. she can’t, of course. </p><p>“he wants me to meet him tonight,” she says. “wherever this is.”</p><p>she waves the piece of paper around and thinks about where it will lead her: a restaurant, a show, maybe a bookstore. she isn’t sure what she’s hoping for, but she thinks that any place will be okay if it’s as fun as last night. </p><p>“hold up,” flynn says. she takes the paper and brings it closer to her eyes, squints at it a little. “he wrote this?”</p><p>“yeah… ” julie draws the word out, confused and mildly worried. “crap, does he have the handwriting of a murderer?”</p><p>“i don’t know, julie, i can’t even read what this says! i’ve seen better penmanship from my five-year-old cousin.”</p><p>“i’ll say it again”—she reaches out and grabs the note back from flynn, folds it and puts it safely away in a pocket—”you’re ridiculous, but…”</p><p>“you need my help picking out an outfit?”</p><p>julie laughs and nods. she has a pretty good eye for fashion, or at least she thinks she does, but for as long as she and flynn have been friends, she’s relied on her best friend for date night clothing advice.</p><p>“wait,” she says, her thoughts crashing into her like a wave. “is this a date? what if he just invited me to something that, like, thirty other people will be at?”</p><p>flynn stands up and starts to walk towards julie’s room. their apartment is small so it doesn’t take her very long to get there and she stands in the doorway, both hands on her hips, and says, “there could be a thousand people wherever it is you’re going and i’m going to make sure you’re the only one he is looking at.”</p><p>twenty minutes and several outfits later, julie stands in front of the mirror in a short-sleeved silver dress covered in sequins. the sun keeps catching them, circles of light bounce off of every surface and if julie turns her head just right, the reflection threatens to blind her. the dress falls mid-thigh and it has a mostly open back, the fabric draping low beneath her shoulder blades. </p><p>“but what if he takes me someplace that doesn’t require me being this shiny?” she asks, twisting from side to side. </p><p>flynn stares at julie through the mirror like she’s asked the most ridiculous question ever, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open in confusion. </p><p>“being shiny is always a requirement,” she says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.</p><p>julie looks down at the dress, runs her hands over it and watches the sequins mirror themselves in light on her hands. she doesn’t notice flynn walking up behind her until her curls are gathered and pulled up off of her neck, until flynn rests her chin on julie’s shoulder.</p><p>“i’m sorry for signing you up and not telling you, jules,” she says.</p><p>the change in subject gives julie whiplash. her knees soften, bend a little bit further, and she watches in the mirror as flynn’s head bobs with the movement, her own personal angel whispering in her ear.</p><p>“it’s okay, flynn, really,” she says. “maybe a miracle will happen and i’ll suddenly be ready to sing and it’ll be this triumphant thing and it’ll all be thanks to you.”</p><p>flynn’s breath is warm against julie’s neck. their inhales and exhales align, matching sighs that would fog up the glass if they were any closer.</p><p>“i just want you to be happy,” flynn whispers. </p><p>julie turns around, wraps her arms around flynn and pulls her into a tight hug. the movements are automatic; hugging flynn has been a daily occurrence for as long as julie can remember, and she had found an entirely new appreciation for it after her mom died—the comfort she finds in her best friend’s embrace is unmatched, unwavering.</p><p>“i am,” julie says. “or i’m getting there, i think. i don’t know. i don’t want to shut music out, you know that, i just… everytime i think about singing or writing or performing, it’s all”—she mimes explosions coming from her temples—”a mess.”</p><p>“and you’re my mess and i love you,” flynn says.</p><p>they stay like that for a few minutes, held so close together and breaths so in sync that they could be one person. flynn pulls back first and julie doesn’t miss the way her eyes are shining, the way the tip of her nose is flushed like she’s been holding back tears. julie’s heart breaks a little; she wishes she could go back to being the version of her that existed before rose’s death but, like she told luke, she’s tried for flynn and it didn’t work.</p><p>“come on, i’m hungry,” flynn says, tucking some braids behind her ear. the movement is practiced, casual, but julie knows it’s flynn’s go-to when she’s feeling anything other than her normal, confident self. “go get changed, i want waffles.”</p><p>*</p><p>julie’s cab pulls up in front of a building with a bright yellow neon sign announcing its purpose: karaoke. for a second, she thinks about telling the driver to take her back home, because surely luke wouldn’t be so unobservant as to take her somewhere that requires singing after everything she told him last night. she shakes her head to clear the thought. </p><p>she watches through the window as luke walks up to the building, his hands in his front pockets. the driver clears his throat, like he’s sending her a message to get out, and she decides she’ll give luke the benefit of the doubt. she pays her fare and opens the door, makes sure her heels are solidly planted on the ground before getting out of the car.</p><p>“julie!” luke calls.</p><p>she looks up at him and watches as his eyes dance over her body, starting at her hair (pulled back into a high ponytail that flynn said looked very 70s), and moving down her dress. the cab drives away and julie watches it go for a second before turning back to luke. she walks over to where he stands and, when she gets closer, she sees something in this eyes that looks a lot like hunger. she feels it, too.</p><p>“you look… ”</p><p>he runs a hand through his hair, gets distracted or loses the ability to speak for a second. julie spins around and lets luke see the low back, the way the dress clings to her hips. she hears him whistle, low and slow.</p><p>“cat got your tongue, rockstar?”</p><p>she doesn’t recognize her own voice and she’s not sure if she’s overcompensating for the fact that her brain is still running circles around the idea of luke inviting her to a karaoke bar or not.</p><p>“that dress is amazing,” he says. “you look amazing. oh, wait”—he reaches for his back pocket and pulls out a flower that she’s surprised she hadn’t seen tucked there before—”this is for you.”</p><p>julie gasps when he holds it out for her, big and round and pink: a dahlia. she takes it from him and brings it to her nose.</p><p>“how did you know?” she asks.</p><p>he gives her a puzzled look. “know what?”</p><p>“dahlias, they were my mom’s favorite.”</p><p>luke smiles and ducks his head and julie thinks him being bashful is something she could get used to.</p><p>“they were being sold down the street. maybe it’s fate or a sign from your mom that you should <em> definitely </em> not be mad at me for bringing you here or something.”</p><p>“oh, you picked up on that?” she cocks her hip and waits for a beat before saying more. “i’m not mad, just kind of confused.”</p><p>“look, last night you trusted me to drag you down an alley to who knows where, right?”</p><p>julie nods and takes another deep inhale of the flower’s scent. it takes her back to her mom’s studio, the way she’d walk into it and instantly be hit with the smell of no less than fifty fresh-cut dahlias.</p><p>“so, can you trust that i definitely didn’t bring you here to force you up on the stage or anything? i’m not that much of a jerk.”</p><p>he bounces on his toes, lips turned slightly upward like he knows julie can’t resist his charm. </p><p>“okay, okay” she relents, “but i have one condition.”</p><p>luke <em> hmm</em>s and arches an eyebrow.</p><p>“you <em> are </em> going to get up on the stage.”</p><p>he laughs and heads towards the door, holds it open with his foot. julie is instantly hit with the sound of someone singing a madonna song completely out of tune and she hopes the whole night isn’t going to be as unpleasant. </p><p>“you drive a hard bargain, julie,” he says. “but it’s a deal.”</p><p>the karaoke bar is about half full and most of the patrons are wearing bright colors with teased hair and leg warmers; a screen hanging above the stage lets julie know that it’s 80s night. luke takes the dahlia from her and sticks it back into his pocket before putting his hand on the small of julie’s back and guiding her towards the bar. </p><p>“if you want me to sing, i’m gonna need a beer first,” he says.</p><p>he orders two, the same cheap brand from the night before, and julie lets her fingers linger against his as she takes one of the bottles. she holds hers at an angle, the mouth pointing towards luke, looks around the room and says, “to the 80s.”</p><p>luke clinks the neck of his bottle against hers and takes a long drink. his jawline is on full display with his head tilted back and julie thinks she could catch on fire just looking at him, her eyes drinking him in like he is the thing bottled up in her hand.</p><p>“too bad i didn’t dress the part,” he says when he finally swallows and puts the bottle down.</p><p>they watch the next performer, an enthusiastic middle-aged woman putting her all into “total eclipse of the heart.” luke sings along, quietly and under his breath, and julie thinks he would’ve really made a name for himself had he been born decades earlier with the dream of being a popstar. they clap as the song comes to an end, the woman bowing and flushing red from a cocktail or the rush of being on stage, and luke finishes off the rest of his beer in one go like he has someplace to be.</p><p>“next up, we have”—the night’s mc scans the clipboard in his hand—”luke patterson!”</p><p>luke stands up and shrugs, a trying-to-be-oblivious grin on his face that julie has come to recognize. </p><p>“you signed up before i even got here?” she asks, walking with him towards the front of the room. </p><p>“well, <em> duh</em>,” he says.</p><p>he stops at the bottom of the stairs that lead up to the stage. julie starts to tell him good luck but he cuts her off before she can. </p><p>“listen, i know there is still music somewhere inside you,” he says in a rush. “you showed me that this morning and the look on your face when you sang that one line was so, i don’t know, you looked so <em> free</em>. so you definitely don’t have to come up here at any point during this song but, i mean, if you get the urge, the stairs are right here.”</p><p>julie doesn’t know if she should be angry or nervous or freaked out that someone she has known for such a short amount of time can see what music still means to her, especially when she hasn’t even been able to figure that out for months. she doesn’t know what she is going to do, let alone what she is supposed to say, so she settles for leaning in and kissing him on his cheek.</p><p>“for luck,” she says.</p><p>she isn’t sure he needs it as much as she might.</p><p>the mc calls out luke’s name again and he rushes up the three stairs, grabs the mic and greets the crowd like he’s at one of his own shows. julie beams up at him; this is the first time she is seeing him in his element, even if that element is currently, according to the opening notes of his song, a classic one-hit wonder.</p><p>“this one’s for a totally tubular girl,” luke says.</p><p>julie laughs and rolls her eyes at his attempt at 80s slang. he starts to dance, or at least starts to mildly shake his hips along with the beat, and julie thinks he needs to stick to rock and roll.</p><p>“children behave,” he sings, not needing to look at the lyrics. “that’s what they say when we’re together.”</p><p>as the verse goes on, luke struts across the stage, pointing at various older women in the crowd and making them blush and turn to their friends to brag, but for the pre-chorus, he stands in front of julie, looking only at her.</p><p>“running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another’s hand.”</p><p>he reaches out toward her and it’s like julie can feel the tug at her heart, can hear him asking her through the music to believe in him, believe in herself, and take a leap.</p><p>the song builds to the chorus and luke’s voice has a growl to it that makes julie unravel, her intentions rolling off of her like smoke on the water. she is completely captured by him.</p><p>“i think we’re alone now,” he sings. “there doesn’t seem to be anyone around.”</p><p>he sits down on the edge of the stage, never taking his eyes off of her, and she realizes he’s trying to make a point with the lyrics. they were alone last night, yes, but, in this moment, he wants her to ignore everyone else in the crowd, focus only on him. it’s clever, really, sweet in a way no one else in the audience could understand, and she thinks that she wants to be having as much fun as he is, that she wants to be as carefree and silly and confident.</p><p>on the roof last night, luke had told her to try for herself, and she wonders if that could mean trying for the purpose of making memories like this one, trying for a few minutes of pure happiness with no real consequence in her future career or stalled education. she thinks maybe that’s exactly what it means, forgetting all of the background noise and singing just for the hell of it.</p><p>for the second verse, luke stands back up, goes back to serenading the crowd, and julie can’t ignore the feeling building inside of her, the recognizable want to be in front of people, to have them hanging on her every move, her every word. she hardly even notices when her feet take her up onto the first step to the stage.</p><p>it’s the pre-chorus again, and he’s back in front of her, beckoning to her, and it’s like there’s a magnet in each of them, pulling them toward each other like they’ve always been destined to be a karaoke partnership. julie knows she should feel scared, she should feel alone, she should feel everything she used to feel when she tried to get on a stage before she gave up on it all together but she doesn’t. she feels like she has no other purpose but to finish this song with this guy in this bar and deal with the rest later.</p><p>so that’s what she does.</p><p>she skips up the remaining two stairs and grabs luke’s hand and she leans into the microphone and looks into his eyes like they’re an anchor and she’s about to drift away.</p><p>“i think we’re alone now,” she sings. “there doesn’t seem to be anyone around.”</p><p>she hears the cheers of the crowd and it echoes in her ears like a crashing ocean wave.</p><p>“i think we’re alone now,” luke sings to her.</p><p>“the beating of our hearts is the only sound,” they finish the chorus together, luke’s hand on her chest and hers on his. she knows it’s impossible but she thinks she does hear the steady beat of his heart, the <em> thump-thump-thump </em>against her palm like the strongest butterfly breaking free of its cocoon.</p><p>the rest of the song goes by in a blur. at some point, julie pulls the dahlia out of luke’s pocket and runs it along his jawline, the soft petals moving like a paint brush against his skin. she jumps and spins and bounces to the beat, her ponytail flying all over the place, and luke matches her move for move.</p><p>as the song fades out and they sing the final line, he kisses her under the too-hot lights and she’s sweating and shaking and completely shattered in the best way but she kisses him back and smiles against his lips. he grabs her hand and they bow together, the audience eating it up, and he lifts her up and carries her off the stage, his arm strong and comforting around the backs of her thighs.</p><p>they end up outside after watching a few more performances. electricity still dances across julie’s skin, goosebumps refusing to go away, and it’s like she is brand new, like she went into the building one version of herself and came out another.</p><p>her back is against the wall, the brick rough on her exposed skin, and luke stands in front of her, one hand resting on her hip, the other holding a lit cigarette, braced against the brick next to julie’s head. they are cast in a technicolor glow, the neon signs hung above them bright and buzzing.</p><p>“you’re a star, you know that?” he asks.</p><p>julie laughs and she feels so light it’s like she has wings.</p><p>“that was my first time on a stage in forever,” she says. “still have to get some of the dust off.”</p><p>“then you’re gonna be blinding once you do.”</p><p>he closes the distance between their mouths and she nips at his bottom lip before letting them touch. kissing him has become her favorite hobby; she could never get tired of it. the hum of the neon mimics the lightning that’s still in her veins and she thinks if luke touches her just right, she’ll catch fire.</p><p>he finishes his cigarette in a couple more long hits and takes her hand. he pulls her onto the empty street and spins her around and she tilts her head up towards the sky and smiles.</p><p>“you look like a disco ball,” he says. </p><p>she does a little shimmy and watches the sequins shine in the streetlights. </p><p>“too bad it wasn’t 70s night, i would’ve fit right in.”</p><p>julie takes her heels off halfway to luke’s apartment and he carries them for her, hanging off of his fingers like an afterthought. it’s cooler than the night before, and there’s a breeze that catches her hair, lifts the ponytail off of her neck and sends a chill down her spine. the silence between her and luke is comfortable, familiar, and she uses the time to text flynn.</p><p>
  
</p><p>luke’s apartment is empty and julie finds that to be a relief; the guys seemed fine when she met them, but she would rather enjoy the night without the added company. luke heads to the bathroom and he tells julie to make herself at home, so she finds a clean glass and gets some water from the filtered jug in the fridge. </p><p>when he comes back to the living room, luke turns on the tv, finds some silly scary movie on netflix and presses play. julie curls up next to him on the couch, her head on his shoulder, his arm around hers. they stay like that for a while, julie drawing circles on luke’s thigh, until she gets bored of the movie and lifts her head up, turns and looks at him.</p><p>“thank you for tonight,” she says, meaning it. </p><p>“anytime,” he says.</p><p>“but i have to tell you, you might be in trouble with flynn.”</p><p>luke cocks his head to the side and raises his eyebrows at her.</p><p>“she really wanted to be the one who got me to sing again,” she says, laughing.</p><p>“you did that all by yourself.”</p><p>“yeah, well, you still helped, so don’t sell yourself short.”</p><p>luke leans in and julie can smell the chips he had been snacking on earlier on his breath. he grins and runs his thumb over her lips.</p><p>“who you callin’ short?”</p><p>the movie eventually ends, though julie doesn’t know how, and she can feel a bruise forming on her neck, the skin sore under her fingers, though the memory of luke’s mouth there dulls the pain. he turns the tv off and stands up, clicks off the lamp behind the couch and reaches a hand out toward julie. that’s been the theme of the night, she thinks, him wanting her to come along for the ride—she’ll join him every time. </p><p>later, in the dark of his bedroom, julie traces the outline of the tattoo on luke’s ribs. his chest rises and falls and she watches the movement of the ink, the heart on his skin shifting in time to the one under it. the even rhythm lulls her to sleep.</p><p>*</p><p>julie doesn’t wake up under the sun this time. she wakes up in luke’s bed, alone, to the sounds of pots and pans falling in the kitchen. she rolls over to the other side of the bed, still warm from his body, and rubs the sleep out of her eyes. after another minute of stretching and yawning and playing the highlights of last night in her head, she starts to smell bacon, and her stomach growls at the thought of food.</p><p>she swings her legs over the side of the bed and stands up, pulls luke’s shirt down so it covers her butt. she checks her phone before leaving the bedroom, sends a short reply to the five texts flynn had sent since she last looked.</p><p>
  
</p><p>when she comes out of the hallway and turns toward the kitchen, luke is in front of the stove, spatula in hand, dancing to a song only he can hear. she watches him for a minute, as he flips some eggs and butters a few pieces of toast. she leans her head against the wall and smiles and, for a second, she thinks about recording this moment, but decides it’s one that should just live in her head.</p><p>“morning,” she says, when she thinks her watching has turned from cute to borderline creepy.</p><p>luke turns around and waves at her with the spatula.</p><p>“hope you’re hungry,” he says. “i even made juice.”</p><p>“you... <em> made </em>juice?”</p><p>he points to a glass on the counter. there <em> is </em> orange juice in it, but it’s less than a quarter full, and even at a distance, julie can see a few seeds floating in it.</p><p>“i’m more of a water with breakfast kind of girl,” she says, grimacing.</p><p>“i see how it is”—luke pouts and furrows his brow, throws the spatula down in faux-protest—”i’ll never get over this.”</p><p>julie rolls her eyes and walks up to him. she wraps her arms around his waist and takes a deep breath; he smells like smoke and hickory and, yes, oranges, and she thinks she’ll go on the hunt for a candle just like that and, if she can’t find one, she’ll go into candle-making herself. </p><p>“the bacon’s gonna burn,” he says, voice muffled by her curls. </p><p>she sighs and lets him go back to cooking, heads to the couch and scrolls through facebook. it’s picture after picture of parties and boyfriends and girlfriends and fun and she wonders if she should have been documenting the last couple of days in the same way, all posed and primped for the newsfeed. there was never the right moment for that, though, and she had hardly been on her phone when she was spending time with him, and she thinks that even if they never see each other again, the memories will be better than any photo. </p><p>after a few more minutes, luke joins her on the couch, two plates in hand. he hands one to julie and her stomach growls at the sight of it, her mouth already watering. </p><p>“rockstar, a-plus cuddler, <em> and </em> chef? will your talents never end?”</p><p>“you can’t just butter me up now that you dissed my juice like that, jules,” luke says, nibbling on a piece of bacon.</p><p>julie swallows her bite and looks at him. </p><p>“jules, huh? you know, usually that one’s saved for my dad and flynn.”</p><p>“yeah, well, <em> just julie </em> doesn’t cut it anymore.”</p><p>“why not?” she asks.</p><p>luke takes a drink of his oj and clears his throat, then reaches out and runs his thumb along her cheekbone. </p><p>“you’re not <em> just </em>anything. god, you’re beautiful and talented and smart and funny and you’re like a fucking comet or something.”</p><p>“a comet, really?”</p><p>luke laughs and julie watches as cheeks turn bright red.</p><p>“yeah, i think meeting you was like seeing a comet and you came into my life like the brightest streak of light or something. sue me.”</p><p>he picks up a piece of toast and julie leans forward and takes a bite out of it before he can. she giggles and brushes away some crumbs that landed on her shirt. </p><p>“you go back to california today, right?” she asks. she doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to pop their bubble, but she figures it’s probably better just to rip the band-aid off.</p><p>“yeah, gotta be at the airport in a few hours.”</p><p>julie nods and moves her plate from her lap to the coffee table. </p><p>“so, that <em> definitely </em> makes me a comet.”</p><p>luke screws his face up in confusion at her. </p><p>“gone in the blink of an eye,” she says. </p><p>luke’s eyes widen and he shakes his head way too many times, puts his plate next to hers on the table and pulls her into a hug. </p><p>“that’s not what i meant,” he says, squeezing her like he did the orange for his juice. “i don’t want you to be gone.”</p><p>julie smiles into his shoulder. she’d be lying if she confessed that she didn’t say what she did to get a certain response but, when it comes to guys, sometimes you have to coax them into a specific conversation. </p><p>“then what do you want?”</p><p>luke pulls back and looks at her, and she watches as his eyes take in every part of her face, from the gap between her teeth to the smudged eyeliner she didn’t wash off. </p><p>“i just want you,” he shrugs.</p><p>julie’s heart detonates, a fourth of july firework.</p><p>“okay,” she says. “okay, yeah, i’d like that. but you’re still going to be across the country.”</p><p>he picks up his phone from the coffee table and swipes and taps and types, then hands it to her. it’s on an add new contact screen and julie smiles at the way he typed her name, jules with a few star emojis. she puts in her number and saves the contact, then gets her phone out and does the same thing for him. </p><p>“there,” he says. “it’s not the same, obviously, but you’re worth waiting to see again.”</p><p>they finish eating in near-silence, the only sounds the rotating <em> woosh </em> of the ceiling fan and their chewing. julie takes their empty plates to the kitchen and washes them off in the sink, the dish soap rainforest fresh, then dries them and puts them away. she puts the pans luke used to cook in the sink to soak and wipes down the stovetop with a wet cloth.</p><p>“you don’t have to be my maid, you know,” he says from behind her. </p><p>she jumps at little bit at the sound of his voice and turns around. he’s got another pair of shorts in his hand and he holds them out to her.</p><p>“figured you wouldn’t want to go home in just a shirt.”</p><p>julie wipes her hands dry with a paper towel and walks to him, takes the shorts and slides them on. he stares at her as she does, and she thinks he has to keep himself from reaching out and touching her; part of her wishes he would.</p><p>“i never knew my clothes could look so good on someone,” he says. </p><p>julie laughs and stretches up to kiss him.</p><p>“whatever, weirdo. you pull them off pretty well yourself.”</p><p>luke kisses her forehead and then groans and says, “the guys will be back soon to pack and stuff.”</p><p>julie nods and steps back.</p><p>“yeah, of course,” she says. “i was gonna have to leave at some point.”</p><p>“i don’t want you to.”</p><p>she crosses her arms across her chest and rolls her eyes.</p><p>“you want me to wither away in your apartment while you’re gone like a dying flower or something?”</p><p>luke laughs, grabs her shoulders and shakes her a little bit.</p><p>“you know what i mean,” he says. “come on, i’ll walk you out.”</p><p>julie grabs her dress and straps her heels back on, the flashy shoes not at all matching with the clothes that luke loaned to her. as they leave the apartment, she takes one last look around, taking in all of the things that she has become so familiar with in such a short amount of time. she’ll miss it here, she knows, and that makes her nervous—what if she never comes back? what if things fizzle out at record speed once luke tells her goodbye?</p><p>she shakes the thoughts out of her head.</p><p>outside, the sun is already beating down with its full vengeance. luke squints against it as he looks at her, their fingers lazily braided together and hanging between them. despite the heat, julie holds back a shiver.</p><p>“so… ” luke says, drawing the word out. </p><p>“thanks for a great weekend,” julie says. she brushes some hair out of her face with her free hand. “i had a really good time.”</p><p>luke smiles and his teeth are blinding in the sunlight.</p><p>“me, too,” he agrees. “can’t wait until we do it again.”</p><p>their parting kiss is chaste, simple but lingering, and julie feels heat independent of the day’s temperature building in her stomach. she commits the taste of his lips to memory, the way they’re kind of dry and cracked but also pillowy soft. when they pull back, her forehead resting against his, he’s breathing like he just ran a marathon, and she feels like a superhero, that she can make him act that way.</p><p>they don’t say anything when she leaves, not really, and julie doesn’t think they have to. she has the weekend, and she has his number, and she thinks that walking away could very well be the end of it all, but something inside of her promises it’s not.</p><p>she thinks she’ll believe that.</p><p>*</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*</p><p>even when julie’s name had been announced as the next performer at the open mic, she hadn’t been sure she would go on. her hands had been shaky, and she’d decided there was no way they would be able to play, but still, as her name had been called, she wasn’t sure. she had done karaoke, yeah, but that was a whole different thing; she hadn’t been alone, for one thing, and those lyrics weren’t her own words, her own vulnerability pouring out of the song. </p><p>she had watched flynn give her a thumbs up from the front row, beaming from ear to ear, and she had remembered luke telling her that she had this, and even as she was still debating, her legs started walking of their own accord. she’d ended up at her keyboard, had ended up taking the biggest breath of her life, forcing her fingers to be still. the crowd hushed and julie had felt like she was going to pass out but she had taken another breath and sang.</p><p>and she had been terrified, but as she belted out the final chorus, it was like coming home.</p><p>now, she weaves her way through the crowd, snaking around pulled-out chairs and support posts, and looks for flynn. her pulse keeps racing, not even close to slowing down, and the adrenaline of the performance is still flooding through her. she hadn’t expected it to be so invigorating, expected more fear than anything else and, yes, she had been scared, but she’d also felt completely at home once her fingers found their place on the keys.</p><p>“hey, jules,” a voice says from somewhere beside her.</p><p>she recognizes it, of course she does, but it’s not until she stops walking and looks to her right that she believes it.</p><p>“luke?” </p><p>he’s there, somehow, leaning against a post with his arms crossed across his chest and a grin on his face. he’s wearing one of his signature sleeveless band tees, dark blue beanie pulled low over his hair, and julie’s heart only gains momentum.</p><p>“what are you doing here?” she asks.</p><p>“i was hoping i’d be lucky enough to get an autograph,” he says. </p><p>his voice is like honey in her veins, sweet and slow and lingering. she closes the distance between them, stands close enough to lean in and kiss him, but she doesn’t.</p><p>“you didn’t tell me you were coming.”</p><p>luke laughs and uncrosses his arms. he reaches up and cups her face in his hands, runs his thumbs over her cheekbones.</p><p>“have you ever heard of something called a surprise? this is that. wanna go somewhere quieter?”</p><p>before she can answer, julie sees flynn walking up to them. she catches julie’s eyes and widens her own, pointing at luke in a specific way that julie knows means <em> what the hell? </em>she gives a little shrug and backs out of luke’s touch, but he doesn’t get a chance to speak before flynn reaches them.  </p><p>“so,” flynn says, startling luke and slinging her arm around his shoulders. “you’re the one that got julie singing again?”</p><p>julie rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips; leave it to flynn to completely forego an introduction and cut straight to her point. </p><p>“all i did was make a big enough fool of myself at karaoke so that she’d have to come up and rescue me,” luke says. “you got her here, so let’s say it was a team effort.”</p><p>flynn considers this, looks between luke and julie a few times.</p><p>“nah, you’re right,” she says, bringing her arm down and patting herself theatrically on the back. “it was mostly me.”</p><p>“if you’re done”—julie gives flynn a look, all raised eyebrows and wide eyes—”we were just on our way to get some air.”</p><p>flynn smiles and nods her head knowingly. she hugs julie so tightly that julie’s hands instantly start to tingle and she can feel flynn’s perfectly filed nails poking through the several layers she has on.</p><p>“i am so proud of you,” flynn says, loud enough for julie to hear but quiet enough that no one else will. “for singing again and, ya know, for all of the kissing you’re about to do.”</p><p>julie laughs and pulls herself out of the hug.</p><p>“we’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?”</p><p>this time, julie leads luke through the crowd. her hand reaches back and finds his as she navigates her way toward the door and she smiles as their fingers thread together perfectly, like they’re already experts at being the right fit for each other. she pushes the door open and déjà vu wafts over her like the scent of her mom’s perfume used to when she was little. the evening air is a welcome relief on julie’s skin, still flushed from her performance and the surprise of seeing luke, and she thinks it’s been both a lifetime and no time at all since she walked out of a bar with him less than two weeks ago. </p><p>“you really flew back just to watch me?” she asks.</p><p>she turns around and sees luke already reaching into his pocket for his pack of smokes, so she drops his hand and lets him light one up. he turns his head to exhale, like he did the first night they met, and watching him sends a deluge of want and longing straight to julie’s core.</p><p>“what if i hadn’t even gone on?”</p><p>“but you did,” he says. “i knew you would, and you were amazing, julie, seriously.”</p><p>he closes the gap between them and wraps one arm around her, pulls her into his chest. she feels him drop a kiss on the top of her head, swallowed by her hair, and she hopes the smell of nicotine will linger, a reminder of him to be washed away later.</p><p>“i gotta confess, though, i’m here on business.”</p><p>“what do you mean?” julie asks, leaning back and looking up at him. “more meetings?”</p><p>“my first order of business is this… ”</p><p>kissing luke now is like kissing him for the first time all over again. she welcomes the taste of him, the smoke and the contrasting mintiness that’s like he just brushed his teeth. the hand still holding his cigarette comes up to cup the back of her head, and he kisses her like he’s hungry for it, like he’ll never have enough.</p><p>he’s breathing hard when he breaks the contact and he rests his forehead against hers. she inhales when he exhales, like she’s trying to save his breaths, trying to collect them inside of her to be given back later.</p><p>“it found you again,” he says, quietly and with a melodic lilt to his voice.</p><p>julie pulls back and stares at him, raises one of her eyebrows in a question.</p><p>“the moon, it’s up there putting a spotlight on you like it did that first night.”</p><p>she throws her head back and laughs and when she looks at luke again, he’s staring at her like she’s something fleeting that he isn’t ready to lose.</p><p>“you laugh but it’s true,” he says. “listen… ”</p><p>he takes another drag on his cigarette and ashes it onto the sidewalk, tiny flickering sparks drifting down like fiery confetti. </p><p>“our opener dropped out.”</p><p>julie wasn’t expecting him to actually start talking business.</p><p>“oh,” she says. “that sucks.”</p><p>“i told them i might have a solution, but i had to be back here to see if it was even possible. turns out that not only is my solution absolutely beautiful, she’s also a hell of a performer.”</p><p>julie’s chest tightens at his words. when she was younger, she had always pretended to be performing in front of a sold-out crowd, using one of her mom’s big clothing trunks as her stage, hairbrush in hand as her microphone. even in college, when she wasn’t sure where her degrees would take her, she still thought about it, the applause of an audience as she took a bow. for the past year, though, she figured that she’d missed her chance, and she’d started to make some kind of peace with that.</p><p>and then she met luke.</p><p>“what are you saying?” she asks. </p><p>he drops his cigarette, only half-finished, and crushes it under his heel.</p><p>“i know it’s not the moon,” he says, “but what do you say, jules? wanna run away with me?”</p><p>***</p>
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